How many times have you said to yourself, “I’m not happy with my life,” “I wish I could change,” or some other such thing, but then you never took any steps to follow through? All talk and no action. What is it that you believe has held you back? Could it have been fear? Lack of motivation? Uncertainty? It’s time to take an introspective look and the real questions to ask yourself are, “Do I really want to change? Am I ready for reinvention?”

Well guess what? You absolutely can reinvent yourself. For midlife women, change is relative to our reinvention — and the changes that we make on our road to reinvention can be a little or a lot. The power to effect change doesn’t come from a magic elixir, you can’t pop a pill and suddenly feel inspired, nor will retail therapy be the answer to all your dreams. As corny as it sounds, the power to reinvent rests at your feet; more specifically, that power is within you. You just need to be ready and committed to take up the challenge.

Think of reinvention like a caterpillar’s metamorphosis into a butterfly: It may be a struggle in the beginning, but in the end there is beauty in that change.

It’s no secret that change can be a scary thing. But it can also open the door to so much more in our lives. Some people embrace change as it occurs. Then there are those who vehemently resist it because a) they have trepidations about moving out of their comfort zone, b) they believe ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,’ c) the loss of control, d) the uncertainty of what lies ahead, or e) fear. This list isn’t exhaustive, and there may be more, deeper reasons involved. However, while it is okay to be apprehensive to change, we should refrain from turning our back on it completely because we don’t know what that change holds in store for us.

Change is all around us. It’s life’s moving target and it affects each one of us throughout our lives. Relationships end, jobs change, loved ones pass away… Change exists in good forms and not so good forms. That, however, shouldn’t stop us from leaning in to change and using it to our advantage.

A Few Benefits of Change

…it can lead to growth. Although “change” and “growth” are sometimes used interchangeably, they aren’t the same. However, when change occurs, it can lead to growth – a gradual shift to a better state.

…it constitutes a new beginning. It is a parting with the old and transitioning to an alternative.

…it builds endurance. When change is difficult and you come out on the other side—maybe a little worse for wear but you endured—that makes you a survivor. Revel in that strength and fortitude.

…it shakes up the routine. Imagine yourself doing the exact same thing in the exact same way at the exact same time every day of your life: eating the same dinner, wearing the same clothes, performing the same tasks. Forgive me while I yawn. Monotony is so bland, so vanilla. Without change, life would be one big snoozefest.

Women and Change — What You Can Do to Embrace It 

Acknowledge It.

As a friend of mine said over twenty years ago, “Change is challenging, but change is good.” Change is inevitable. It’s also vital to our existence. Without it, life would be a stagnant existence filled with the same old same old. Change represents growth, evolution and progress. Who doesn’t want or need that in their life?

Accept and Adapt.

Once you’ve gotten over the initial shock and internal resistance, be accepting of change and the value it can add to your life. Change involves adjustment. Once you accept that life is defined by impermanence and that change is inescapable, it may help you to better deal with the notion of change. Accept and adjust. Then, view that change for what it is: a stepping stone to something different. That difference doesn’t always mean better; it simply means that it is another avenue upon which to traverse in life. Remember, although you may not feel like it at the time, you can adjust to changes if you vanquish the notion that life and your role in it is meant to be static.

Take it One Step at a Time.

Who says you have to rush right into change like a charging bull? Why overwhelm yourself with the process? Try to focus on what is happening right now. Staying in the moment may help keep you grounded. Then, once you’ve embraced the tools to help you deal with the present…

Look at the Big Picture.

While you may be inclined to resist change, it sometimes helps to look ahead to what that change will mean. In the long-run, will you be better off without that toxic person in your life? Can effecting change now lead to a better position in the future? Look past the present and peek ahead in the future – the big picture is waiting for you.

If change is overwhelming, turn to others for help.

There’ll be times in your life when the thought of change or the process itself will feel as if it’s too much to handle. The sensation of the walls closing in on you will be overpowering, compelling you to give up. Don’t. Now is the time to reach out to those in your trusted circle and ask for support. Adjusting to change can be stressful and difficult. Don’t overlook your built-in support system – spouse, family members, friends, church, etc. If you don’t have to go it alone then don’t. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to turn to others for help; that vulnerability doesn’t make you weak, it just makes you human.

The Essence of Change

Here’s the bottom line: you don’t have to change. Change —reinvention — is a choice. If you want it, commit to it and do it.

Change in and of itself can be difficult for midlife women, but accepting change is much easier than fighting it. Think of change as a harbinger of endless possibilities. As you step into the unknown with an open mind, a metamorphosis occurs . . . one that could possibly move you to a better place. Change. It’s inevitable. Come to terms with it and, in the end, embrace it.

Have you sought out change or reinvention in your life? How do you adapt to it?