Your parents. You may think they have little to do with the person you ultimately turned out to be in life, but they are certainly responsible for creating you. Many of their innate qualities are coursing through your genes and there are bits and pieces of them that will always swirl about without your body. Sure, you may have your mom’s cute pug nose, your dad’s peculiar stance, and somehow you ended up with both of their foreheads. You can live with all of these traits. After all, you are your own person.
However, what happens when you get past the aesthetics, get past the mannerisms, get past those commonalities that you share with your parents and you begin to sound like your mother? You open your mouth and the words that come flying out—whether in a fit of rage, hysterics or plaintive musings—seem suspiciously like the same things your mother used to say when you were younger. You swore to anyone who would listen that you would never ever say those things in life. Well the joke’s on you. Somewhere along the line, the transformation began and you scarcely noticed that you were slowly morphing into . . . your mother.
Dun dun dunnnnnn.
If you’ve ever let loose with any of these baker’s dozen of phrases to your children, husband, etc., you could very well be turning into your dear old mom.
“Don’t make me come up there!” This is usually shouted while staring up at the ceiling as your kids are causing a ruckus.
“You won’t be happy ‘til you break that.” This phrase works well on wild children nicknamed ‘Destructo’ as well as husbands who like to tinker with things.
To your crying child: “If you don’t stop all that noise, I’ll give you something to cry about.” As a child, I never understood this one. If I were already crying, it stood to reason I already had something to cry about, am I right?
“You’ll eat it and you’ll like it.” Here again, this works on husbands and your offspring equally well, despite the number of times they refuse to eat your Crunchy Tuna Surprise casserole.
“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” or some variation of that.
“You wait ‘til you have kids; they’ll be just like you, then you’ll see,” or some variation of that.
“Hush yo’ mouth.” This one was extremely popular with southern moms, as was the next one.
“Bless yo’ heart.” When this is said, it’s usually reeking with sympathy for the person whose heart needs blessing. Typically, it’s uttered when someone exhibits traits of sheer stupidity. NOTE: “His” or “her” can easily be substituted for “yo'”.
“Lord have mercy.” The best time to say this is while shaking the head from side to side. It too denotes a special brand of sympathy reserved for those times when you simply can’t believe someone did or said something, and you reach into your spiritual arsenal to ask the Lord to give you the strength and the wisdom to keep you from strangling said person.
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times…”. Note that the next time you say this, it takes your count up to one thousand and one. Just saying.
“Wipe that smile off your face!” Of course, you have no clear expectation that you will be taken literally, yet still you say it without compunction.
“Who do you think you’re talking to?” This one, uttered by my mom while she assumed the battle position with one hand planted firmly on her hip, is the one that put the fear of death in me, as well as scared the bejeezus out of me. I always knew I was talking to her, even while attempting to be sassy, but for the life of me I had no earthly clue what I would have said that warranted her scathing look and that vacant, faraway look in her eyes.
And my all-time favorite which has no basis in logical reasoning whatsoever . . .
“Because I said so, that’s why.” No explanation needed.
Take heart, ladies. You may be turning into your mother, but there are far worse things in life in which to morph.
What things have your mother said that you find yourself repeating as an adult?
