Energy vampires. You may not know what they are, but I’m sure you’ve had at least a couple in your life. But first . . .

What are Energy Vampires?

Energy vampires are those people who drain you of energy, time, emotions, etc. and leave you feeling exhausted. Their internal mantra is “me, me, me.” Seeing beyond their own little sphere is often difficult for them. They may not be purposely mean (although some have malicious intent), but they’re totally oblivious to the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around them and their problems. They can be as sweet as apple pie and wouldn’t harm a fly, or reek of negativity and narcissism, but they’re out there, and dammit, they’re stressing you out.

Take a look around. Those people who routinely:

• whine about the unfairness of life
• put you down while smiling in your face
• always want to be the center of attention (the “me, me, me” syndrome)
• bring the room down with their negativity
• always finds fault with others — and has zero shame in letting others know
• wear their insecurities on their sleeve
• play the victim
• bring the drama like an Oscar-winning actor
• want you to listen to their problems but never seem to have time to talk when you need a listening ear

And lest you think otherwise, energy vampires can be anyone in your life: a family member, a neighbor, a co-worker, a teacher, your yoga teacher, the barista at the coffee shop, etc. Anyone.

How to Deal with “Energy Drainers”

Energy vampires rob you of yourself. How can you deal with them?

1) Recognize when you’re being drained. Many times, there are physical manifestations: you feel drained after a phone conversation with them; your heart rate speeds up when they enter the room; you start avoiding their calls and texts for your own sanity.

2) Say “No,” and mean it. These two little words can be your saving grace. You don’t have to be mean or loud about it; just be firm.

3) Set boundaries and stand by them. Don’t be afraid to let people know when they’ve crossed the line.

4) Stop being their sounding board. Energy vampires thrive on the attention you give to them and their woes. Listen, but don’t over-engage. When an energy vampire is in their element, they’re unloading their problems. Empathy is great, but that same empathy can get you far too wrapped up in the mess. You can listen, even make a comment or two, but know when to say ‘when.’

5) Remind yourself of your self-worth. Sometimes, a dominating energy vampire will zap so much life and power from you that your sense of self-worth can fade away too. Don’t allow your true self to be shattered by negativity, and take back control.

Energy vampires are all around us. Bur as much as we may not want to admit it, if we don’t have energy vampires in our lives, that energy vampire may be the one staring back at us in the mirror.

In the movies (watch the 1922 German horror classic, Nosferatu, online), the vampire is usually vanquished by sunlight, holy water, a crucifix, a stake through the heart, or garlic. Such extreme measures aren’t necessary with energy vampires. In fact, you don’t even need to banish them from your life. Their lack of self-awareness usually isn’t intentional. Sometimes all it takes is a good talking to, in a compassionate yet firm manner.