This time in our lives.

Midlife.

To some women, midlife is something to fear, something to dread, something to approach kicking and screaming. Trepidation and panic can set in. A swirl of uncertainty surrounds us. Then, questions arise.

“Who am I?” “What do I want out of life?” “Where am I headed?”

Then, the ‘Comparison Game’ begins.

“I’m not as thin as she is.”
“Why can’t I have a successful career like she has?”
“She’s so stylish. I love her wardrobe. I wish I could dress like her.”

Carefully laid plans all of a sudden seem useless, senseless, out of reach.

Does this sound like something you’ve gone through? Take heart, midlife woman; you are not alone.

They call it a ‘crisis.’ I don’t.

Crisis.

Such an ugly, powerfully poisoned word. This is how Merriam-Webster defines crisis:

Notice how they use “midlife” as an example? Like so many other people, they can’t separate ‘midlife’ from ‘crisis.’ Sure, life can be difficult and trying for us when we reach this stage. Change is a part of life. But think about it: Turmoil, upheaval, change, pain — this can all happen at any stage of life. Any stage.

Everyone has a sob story to tell. I’ve had my fair share of pain, uncertainty, fear and stumbling blocks at more ages than I can count — 8, 17, 20, 23, 29, 34, 33, 36, 38, 41, 48, 49, 51, 53, 54 (and more). In truth, my life has been littered with it. But at no point did I consider myself to be in ‘crisis.’ And I refuse to label myself as such now when, at age 55, I decide to change my hair color, start taking yoga and twist myself up like a pretzel, or zip around town in my hot red Miata with the top down.

I am not in crisis. I am living in midlife.

Once we get it in our heads that a crisis is forthcoming, we’ll treat our lives as such. After all, it’s what society expects of us, right?

I’m calling bullshit.

This time in our lives doesn’t have to be defined by crisis. We’ll have our ups and downs and things won’t always go as we expect, but we don’t have to define it as ‘crisis,’ — let’s just call it life, shall we?

I’m enjoying midlife and skipping the crisis. And you should, too.