Getting unstuck. It’s a phrase and a concept that has grown in popularity over the past few years. I’ve seen it increasingly directed at midlife women across various websites. Getting unstuck in your life. Getting unstuck in your career. And if I’m being honest, I’ve used the phrase a couple of times before myself.

What Exactly Does “Getting Unstuck” Mean?

Being stuck in life can feel like you’re trapped in a cage.

I believe to answer that question, you must first determine what “stuck” means. When people are stuck, they may feel trapped, beat down or helpless in life and think that there’s nothing left for them. They may be spinning their wheels, they’ve stalled in their career, their marriage has become stale, or their personal life is going nowhere fast. Sometimes, people don’t see a path forward. Other times, they have an idea of what they should be doing to move their life forward, but something’s holding them back. There are so many obstacles in their path, they’d rather stay where they are – stagnant and unhappy – because it’s their familiar place.

Many times, fear plays into the sense of being stuck. Making a change in life means walking into the unknown. That uncertainty feeds into the fear and prevents us from trusting in a new process. Yes, even when we know what’s best for us, such as being in a toxic relationship, or a job that we no longer value. We stay in these situations because they’re in our safe zone. We stay because we don’t want to rock the boat. We stay because we don’t know anything else.

That’s being stuck.

When you’re stuck, life becomes redundant. Predictable. Stale. But what does stuck look like? Well, that depends on the person. Everyone’s stuck is different. It could be a sense of helplessness in a situation. It could be endless daydreaming and comparing your real life to your daydream life. It could be talking yourself out of the things you want.

Your thoughts create and dictate your situation, so if you believe you’re stuck, chances are you’re stuck.

It’s Time For a Life Change

Getting unstuck in life isn’t usually an overnight fix. It takes work. It takes a change of mindset. It takes audacity. It takes action. Here are a few things you can do and keep in mind to help you when you’re feeling stuck.

Get real with yourself. If that job doesn’t feel right anymore or your relationship has stalled, acknowledge that you can outgrow those situations. Growth can be a good thing, but you have to be open and accepting to the truth that it’s up to you to take care of yourself. And to do that you have to be honest with yourself about what you’re going through.

Don’t beat yourself up. Whenever you’re feeling stuck, know that you aren’t alone. Now isn’t the time to berate yourself or lose faith in yourself. It’s all to easy to fall into the “I’m no good” or “I can’t do anything right” trap. Show compassion and give yourself the room to breathe and grow as you embrace a new way of living.

Know that you have options. Don’t lock yourself into one belief. There’s more than one way to do something, and you don’t have to feel obligated to stick with a situation simply because you think it’s the only choice you have.

Don’t wait for change from someone else. When you rely on external forces and people to direct your actions, you’re no longer in control of your life. You can’t let what other people do in their lives be your conduit to happiness. Change doesn’t happen to us. We dictate change from within.

Stop overthinking. It’s easy to fall into the trap of overthinking. Overthinking leads to persistent worrying which in turn leads you to that zero-to-sixty thinking. Your mind goes straight to the worst-case-scenario. Get out of your head! Challenge that negativity and, whenever possible, take the emotions out of the situation to give you clarity.

Start journaling. There are many advantages to journaling. Not only does it help you become more self-aware, but it also helps you to work through challenges and issues you’re experiencing.

Set realistic goals. Setting goals are one thing. Making those goals realistic is another. It’s fine to want to reach for the stars and dream big. However, make sure the goals that you set are S.M.A.R.T. goals – ones that are actually attainable. And make sure they’re your goals, not the goals your spouse, parents, or best friend want for you. When they’re your goals, you take ownership of and accountability for them.

Get out of your comfort zone. When you’re complacent where you are, you’ll never know how happy you can be somewhere else. This quote speaks volumes:

“Each time you try something for the first time you will grow – a little piece of the fear of the unknown is removed and replaced with a sense of empowerment.” ~Annette White

Is it time for you to get unstuck and set yourself free?