When life throws a few lemons in the direction of some people, they might decide to make the most of it and make lemonade. Then there are people like Vikki Claflin. Not content with lemonade, she took those lemons and lobbed them right back at the universe.

When you look at Vikki, you see a woman with a fetching smile, a fierce haircut and a radiant glow. What you don’t see is a woman who allowed life to pull her under. At 58 years young, Vikki knows the value of squeezing every last delicious drop out of life and she turns the not-so-great moments into moments of laughter.

You wanna know what midlife looks like?

Vikki Claflin

So Vikki, tell our readers about your livelihood…what do you do for a living?

I work full-time at a day job that I enjoy, that, thankfully, pays my bills, but my heart is in writing. Like most writers, I would love to be able to live as a writer. Unfortunately, there are about a billion or so of us out there with the same goal and only a few who actually “make it.” Standing in a library or at Barnes & Noble, it would seem that everyone and their family goat has published a book, so you must really suck at writing if you can’t find a publisher. It can be discouraging. But I remain hopeful and optimistic, and I keep writing. It’s too much of a passion to give up. If I could do it for free and still eat, I would. Until then, I can still proofread on my lunch hour.

Oh, I see a bit of simpatico here between us. Writing is my life and if it weren’t for my husband . . . well, let’s just say the only dough I’ll be rolling in is for the soft and chewy peanut butter cookies that I have yet to bake. Outside of work, what keeps you busy?

Grandkids. Camping. Family. Otherwise, I write, sleep, work, repeat.

I can see all of that keeping you on your toes. Even still, at times we—meaning the women of midlife—have hurdles to jump, obstacles to conquer and mountains to climb. What has been one of your biggest challenges in midlife and how did you beat it into submission?

I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s when I turned 50. A diagnosis of a long-term, progressive and often embarrassing illness that won’t kill you (so it will become part of your daily life for the next 2-3 decades) tends to put a lot of things about midlife into perspective pretty quickly. Cellulite, weight gain, chin hairs and back fat suddenly seem less concerning than figuring out how to live with this disease and still do the things I love to do.

My mission quickly became learning to find the funny in this disease. Humor is my fundamental happy place and I instinctively look for the silly side of most experiences. Ultimately, I released a book about that journey which chronicles my goofiest moments with Parkinson’s. It was hugely cathartic and hopefully has brought laughter into the lives of other Parkinson’s patients. My mother has had Parkinson’s for 25+ years and she loved it [the book]. Anything after that is gravy.

Well, I’m just gonna say it: You’re a true inspiration! It’s good to see that you haven’t let this disease keep you down.

You mentioned grandchildren so you must have offspring out there somewhere.

I have one son.

So are you an empty nester or is your son still eating you out of house and home?

Yes, I’m an empty nester. My son is 26, and left for college at 18. He enlisted in the Army National Guard and was deployed to Iraq for a year.

When he came home, he married a beautiful girl who had a small son. They have since had another girl and bought a dog, and they’re a family. There’s no boomerang coming back home. We were always wonderfully close, but he’s not my “boy” anymore and never will be. He’s a husband, a father to two young children, and an officer in the military. I’m so proud of him, my heart hurts sometimes. It’s all as it should be. But I miss him every day. (Don’t tell him that.)Your pride in your son is evident. Tell him “thanks” from Midlife-A-Go-Go for his service to our country. So how did you handle it when he flew the coop to fly on his own?

My biggest struggle was finding a “place” in his new, adult life. I never wanted to be one of those duty mothers, who demand to be called once a week for status updates on their kids’ marriages, careers and personal lives. I ultimately decided to just wait it out and let them tell me where I could be of value. Shortly after they married and moved to another town, I started getting calls. “Mom, can you help me with my resume?” “Mom, will you proofread my term paper?” “Mom, Gage has a fever. What should we do?” “Mom, do we need life insurance?” And there it was. I’m their go-to person when they need practical advice. I’m the Git-er-done Mom, for when they need to get shit done. I can live with that.

Well, despite what they think, no matter how old they get, every child still needs their Mom. So outside of your ‘Git-er-done’ role, have you reinvented yourself in midlife?

Hubs says I’m very different now than I was when we got married 15 years ago. He’s right. I’m more confident and expressive about my opinions and decisions, and much less worried about pleasing everyone all the time (note to self: it can’t be done). I’m less willing to “give in” on issues that are important to me. I choose my friends carefully and I don’t panic when someone doesn’t like me.

I’m also less anxious about my weight, or the status of my clothes, or even my less-than perky body parts. Since I’m not willing to spend two hours a day in the gym or at a spinning class, I’ve learned to accept some jiggle in my wiggle. There’s a certain freedom to letting go of the never-ending focus on facial lines that resemble topography maps of L.A., or boobs that head south with the determination of Canadian geese in the winter. It leaves you more time to do something that’s actually fun.

I admire that in you, Vikki. So many women (and, yes, even some men) are fixated on the ‘package’ we present to the world as a midlifer. You know, perfectly coifed with every hair in place, boobs standing at attention, face and neck as smooth as silken flower petals. Barbie and Ken are manufactured role models that many can’t live up to.  

Your humor is infectious and I, for one, would rather be afflicted with that over a cold any day of the week. What advice can you give to other women who may be struggling with midlife?

Try to laugh at least once a day. Not a giggle. Not a chuckle. A big old-fashioned, snort-wine-out-of-your-nose belly laugh. It makes you feel good, reduces stress, releases endorphins (the feel-good hormones), heals your hurts and delights the people around you.

Winning.

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Eternal optimist. Writer. Humorist. Wife. Mother. Grandmother.

Yup, that’s Vikki. She grabbed life by the horns and blew out her own tune. There’s no denying that her wit and charm are a large part of the wonderful woman that she has become. She’s rockin’ midlife like the star that she is. Yes, she suffers from a debilitating disease, but she keeps smiling that beautiful smile and brings the funny. Whatever ails you, Vicki’s positivity will have you saying, “If she can laugh, I can too!”

When it comes to Vikki Claflin, this is what midlife looks like.
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WHERE TO FIND VIKKI ON THE WEB:

Catch up with Vikki at her blog, Laugh Lines: Middle Age, Modern Marriage, and Epic Fails. She’s also on Facebook and Twitter.

You can purchase her book, “Shake, Rattle & Roll With It: Living & Laughing with Parkinson’s,” on Amazon.com or on her website.
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If you believe you or someone you know should be featured in “This is What Midlife Looks Like,”please don’t hesitate to contact me and let me know.