This morning, as I gently massaged the dark blue Better Homes and Garden washcloth across my face in concentric circles, I stared at the woman whose face was reflected back at me in the mirror. I mean—starting from the unlined forehead, down the slightly pugged nose to full yet balanced lips—I really looked at her. At myself.
I don’t do that often…scrutinize my face like a mad scientist — closing one eye, squinting and peering through a microscope. I did, however, recently find a long, stubborn hair dangling from my chin that caused me to give my countenance a thorough once-over. But on this day, as I looked closely, I felt compelled to do something that, while I rarely say aloud, I often think within the safe confines of my thoughts: I said, “Valerie, you’re beautiful.”
This was not the ramblings of a narcissistic middle-aged woman admiring herself, but rather an affirmation from a woman who has manifested her inner confidence to her outer aura. As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, however, my ‘beautiful’ has little to do with the façade and everything to do with the intrinsic qualities coursing within my being. I saw beauty when I gazed into my own eyes and was greeted with self-assurance. The beauty of my heart and soul put a smile on my face.
I’m an intelligent, articulate and caring woman. I’m graceful (except when I’m being chased by a butterfly), creative and witty. Tenacious, giving and enterprising are words that not only others could use to describe me, but I would go so far as to say the same about myself. There is no shame in this. I am who I am.
As a midlife woman, I’m comfortable in my own skin and feel phenomenally blessed to be at this stage in my life. While serendipity may have played a small role, culminating in the woman I’ve become, sage (and sometimes flat-out dumb) decisions, the spirit of endurance and strength of character put me on the path that led me to me. With few regrets, I love and respect the woman that I am, and I hope other midlife women feel the same about themselves. [If not, divert from the path you’re on, recalibrate your journey and get to stepping in the right direction.]
We are who we are, and for each and every one of us, it’s as simple as that. As midlife women, we cannot allow ourselves to be defined by the eyes of others. We are the beholders. If we look only as far as the eyes can see, we’ll likely only reach as far as our arms will allow. Go beyond that. Go deeper than that. We should love ourselves, accept ourselves, embrace ourselves, celebrate ourselves.
Your beautiful is different from my beautiful. As you live your wonderful midlife life, bask in your beautiful…however you define it.
How do you affirm your beauty? Let’s discuss it in the comments below.
This is such a beautiful post. There are so many women in midlife who just can’t seem to find their beauty behind the saggy skin and wrinkles. I think beauty comes from within and if a woman loves who she is, the beauty will shine through to the world.
Thank you for writing this. I’m passing it along to my networks and to my midlife fb group. The ladies will love it!
Bren
I’m glad you could identify with and enjoy my piece, Bren. I need to tell myself more that I’m beautiful, I’m courageous, I’m blessed, etc. Self-affirmations can go a long way in how we think about ourselves.
Valerie you possess wisdom. The peacock is my business & personal logo for the following reasons:
The peacock is a possessor of some of the most admired human characteristics, and is a symbol of integrity and the beauty we can achieve when we endeavor to show our true colors.
In history, myth, legend and lore, the Peacock symbolism carries portents of: Nobility, Holiness, Guidance, Protection and Watchfulness.
Peacock Feathers have been used for healing for tens of thousands of years in every culture throughout time. They are said to carry Spiritual Healing Energy that can be used to assist people seeking balance and harmony in their lives. With the proper guidelines of use, they allow the individual to connect with the Universal Healing Energy and use this energy to heal people of all of their complaints, imbalances and disease. This tradition is based on this principle
Peacock Symbolism
Peacock symbolism speaks of attributes such as:
• Glory
• Vision
• Royalty
• Spirituality
• Awakening
• Immortality
• Refinement
• Incorruptibility
It is a possessor of some of the most admired human characteristics, and is a symbol of integrity and the beauty we can achieve when we endeavor to show our true colors.
In history, myth, legend and lore, the Peacock symbolism carries:
“The Pride of the Peacock is the Glory of God” William Blake
That is absolutely beautiful, Sandy. Your selection of the peacock speaks to your wisdom, too!
So, how do I affirm my beauty? Admittedly I struggle with that–growing up with a hyper-critical mother. My beauty comes out in my smile, in my loving relationships, those moments I catch a glimpse in the mirror and am reminded that I am good and beautiful and living a life of my choosing.
Amen, Walker. When we express love — especially for ourselves — that, in my humble opinion, adds to our beauty. And knowing who we are in life and displaying that confidence? That’s stunning! Thanks for telling us how you affirm your beauty.
Lovely post. As we are contemporaries I find that I am so much more loving and kind to myself than I ever was when younger, even with much more facial hair!
Thanks Heidi. You know, I’m much kinder to myself as well. I put myself through so much stress in my younger years, trying to live up to the expectations of others and trying to be someone who I wasn’t. Thank goodness I’ve discovered the woman that I am!