Midlife-A-Go-Go strives to be a destination for midlife women to visit and be enlightened, entertained and have their voices heard. That doesn’t mean that those outside of that demographic aren’t welcome here. I also embrace women who haven’t quite reached midlife, as well as those beyond it and into their golden years. Why? Because we’re all girls at heart. midlife words of wisdom
Once upon a time, we were children. Snotty nosed, knocked-kneed and likely girly little girls in shiny black Mary Janes, frilly pink crap and pigtails for days.
As kids, we were taught to listen to our elders. And then there’s that whole respect thing, too. Your best friend’s mother soon became the voice of your mother. When she told you to cross your legs like a proper young lady, you did. When her head lowered slightly as her eyebrows raised and she peeked over her bifocals, expressing a look of horrid dislike for the scandalous outfit you were wearing (“Do your parents know you left the house looking like that?”), she shamed you into going home to change into an outfit more attuned to a ‘good girl.’ When she wiped your snotty nose on the sleeve of her shirt so you wouldn’t walk around sniffling all day, all you could think about was, “She’s just like my momma.” And you respected her like your momma, too. midlife words of wisdom
To a 10-year old kid, a 50-year old woman is nothing less than a decrepit, stooped over old crone. I’m 53 and I’m far from decrepit. I will, however, admit to possessing a hunched quality when I first wake up in the morning and my creaky joints are loath to help me straighten up to my full 5’8” height, but that’s neither here nor there. midlife words of wisdom
But here’s the thing about midlife women: we’re loaded with wise, sage words and all kinds of stuff. I mean, it’s practically oozing out of our pores. We’re sort of like Buddah … but infinitely cuter. Sometimes the younger generation has no use for our erudite sensibilities. And then there are those rare occasions when they’re our captive audience, eager to soak in the knowledge and nuggets of advice, all of which we’ve earned the right to share.
Sharing Your Midlife Words of Wisdom
Let’s imagine for a moment, shall we, that you’re having a tête-à-tête with a wayward millennial. Her soul is in dire need of feeding, she’s struggling and dealing with issues and feelings that she can’t reconcile with what she wants in and out of life. She’s muddling through in a mass of confusion and she doesn’t know which way to turn. Her life experiences aren’t enough to get her through. She needs the counsel of someone who has been there, done that. She may realize that this time in her life is temporary. She’s even tried to center herrself and find her balance. Still, it’s not enough.
You’ve been in her shoes. You’ve traversed the same wobbly path . . . and, perhaps, sometimes even crawled, but in the end, you made it through and came out of it a whole woman.
As a midlife woman, what do you do? What do you say? What pearls of wisdom would you impart to a wayward young woman who has lost her way?
To some, they may be mere words, but to that woman who is open to hearing it, it’s a message that gets to the heart of the matter. As you shine a light into the darkness, it could be the one thing that she’s been waiting all day to hear, and it could be the one thing that helps her move forward.
So what words of encouragement would you give to that young woman? What are your midlife words of wisdom?
I think a lot of the time there is nothing truly profound that can be imparted in a few words. It’s more about a hug or a listening ear and only offering those words of advice if they’re asked for. Lost people need love and relationship as much as they need our advice (although you are completely right about us having so much to offer).
And you too are correct, Leanne. When we can be there for someone in the quiet moments, those times when they think no one is listening but we are and we can lend a hug, a smile or to just exist in their stillness, that is as powerful as words. Thanks for kicking off the conversation.
My three kids are grown. Two of them are daughters. One just married at age 29 and the youngest is almost 23. What I’ve learned is that they most often don’t want advice. They want someone to listen while they vent. That’s all they need, and in the end, they figure things out for themselves. But when I DO offer advice, it is this: Be yourself and hold yourself in high regard, because how you treat yourself is often how others will likewise treat you. Too often young women set the bar low. No! Set the bar high, for yourself and others. Better to be with a scant few who appreciate your worth than with a crowd that does not. Good post!
Absolutely wonderful advice about setting the bar high, Lisa. When the bar is low, there is complacency and little growth. As for listening, there were many times throughout my formative years that all I needed was a sounding board. When given the latitude to hear myself, it sometimes made the difference. And the one listening would say, “The answer was inside of you all along.” Now THAT’S a great thing to hear. Thanks for your words of wisdom, Lisa.