Midlife—whether you’re in your 40s, 50s or skirting the 60s—it’s a wonderful time to be a woman. No longer do we have to beat ourselves up (or down) and feel as if life as we know it is over. With age comes wisdom, and many midlifers could teach a thing or two (or 789) to the younger generation. Ladies, you are so much greater than you know.
You wanna know what midlife looks like?
Debra Pierre-Louis
Like most women in midlife, one of 51 year old Debra Pierre-Louis’s biggest challenges has been maintaining her weight. No stranger to exercise, Debra has been consistent over the years in her quest to lead an active lifestyle. It is only now, in the midst of midlife, that doing so requires much more effort.
“I have done some form of exercise for the past 30 years and with the limitations my body is placing on me, it gets harder and harder to continue working out. It takes nothing to put on a pound or two but takes nearly killing myself to lose them.”
Not easily deterred, Debra can talk the talk, but she can also walk the walk. Not content on allowing her body to be the victor, she put herself to work to effect the kind of change she wanted to see. Her focus and priorities have shifted to being, and staying, healthy.
“I am now just focused on staying active which means pushing myself through the aches and pains to try to maintain a healthy weight.”
Part of that focus involves Debra finding other ways to keep her body moving, such as shoveling snow and running up and down the stairs in her home. She also incorporates her love of dance into her routine.
“Saturday night is my most favorite of the week. I usually turn on the radio and dance my way through my chores.”
Debra, a resident of Frederick, Maryland and a commercial property manager who oversees six commercial / medical office buildings in the Washington Metropolitan area (totaling over 400,000 square feet), believes that her career is her calling.
“I enjoy property management and could not see myself in any other career. The job is very demanding and can be stressful at times, however, I thrive in an environment that is busy and where I can see results.”
Unfortunately, Debra lost her job in November 2013 and was unemployed for about six months. Not one to rest on her laurels, she accepted a position that was outside of her specialty and soon realized that it wasn’t exactly the job for her.
“I was bored to death,” she quips, “and missed what I used to do. Now that I am back in property management, I feel as though I live for this kind of work.”
Outside of work, Debra has a penchant for shopping at thrift stores and counts it, surprisingly, as her only hobby. “I love to go to them and just browse through the shelves of knickknacks and racks. You never know what you will find and I find that my time there is very relaxing.”
While Debra does think about how her life would have progressed had she not met her husband, JP—a man who she’s been with for 22 years, married to for almost 19 of those years and who she describes as her “best friend”—she isn’t unhappy with the woman that she has become. She admits to questioning at times whether she really wanted to be married at all. However, a good marriage takes the work of two people, and in their darkest hours, Debra and JP fought the good fight … and won.
Their resilience, and Debra’s love for JP, is clear. “We weathered those storms. He has been the best thing that’s happened to me.”
With a few missteps along the way, from the early days to adulthood, Debra admits to being wiser now than in her younger years.
“Sometimes, I wish I could start all over, at the age of 18. I would have done some things different had I had this wisdom at a younger age. But we don’t get a ‘redo’ as far as aging.”
Many see midlife as a time for reinvention and go all out to make drastic changes in their lives. Debra has yet to walk that path. She does, however, ruminate on her past while making the most of her life in the here and now.
“I have spent time reflecting on the past. Getting older is scary. I just want to make the best of whatever time I have left in this lifetime.”
Despite having two grown children—a son, Cameron, 24, and a daughter, Julienne, who is 20 (as well as a 26 year old stepdaughter, Ashley)—you wouldn’t be able to tell it by looking at Debra. Although she has trepidations on aging, she remains a fashion-forward woman who takes great pride in her appearance, and it definitely shows. She is a beautiful woman.
Being an empty nester is a reminder to Debra that she’s getting older. Although her son has lived with his father from the age of 10, Debra’s daughter remained at home. Three months ago, she moved away from home, which has been difficult for Debra to deal with.
“It was hard seeing my daughter go. She was never home anyway, so I became accustomed to her not being there; however, the thought of her not coming home at night caused me to become a little sad.”
When it comes to her children, Debra mixes practicality with the tenets that every mother hopes to instill in her offspring. As she ponders the ‘what ifs’ of her life, she ultimate comes back to the present and her maternal instincts kick in.
“I think about how my life would have evolved had I not had kids. I just try to share my age old wisdom with my kids so that they don’t repeat some of the same missteps that I did.”
Debra is definitely rockin’ midlife, and she shares a bit of wisdom and spiritual advice for women who may be struggling:
“Don’t let other people define who you are. Accept that everyone is not going to like you, before they even know you. Always hold your head high and believe that you are a child of God. And no obstacle is unattainable as long as you know that He is with you!”
Well said, Debra.
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Savvy. Intelligent. Wise. Fashionable. Irrepressible. Wife. Mother.
Debra Pierre-Louis is all these things and more. She laughs in the face of midlife and refuses to be defined by age-old assumptions of what a woman in her 50s should be.
When it comes to Debra Pierre-Louis, this is what midlife looks like.
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If you believe you or someone you know should be featured in “This is What Midlife Looks Like,” please don’t hesitate to contact me and let me know.
