You would think a single mother in her mid-50’s who single-handedly raised a young male child into adulthood—with no help from the biological father—would take it easy now that her only child has flown the coop and is making a life for himself some 290 miles away in Raleigh, North Carolina. You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.
You wanna know what midlife looks like?
Pamela Streeter
Pam Streeter seems to have no inkling of the meaning of the phrase ‘slow down.’ Her life is filled with so much activity, anyone would be lucky to catch her simply relaxing. However, even the best of us can be plagued by the maladies of midlife that threaten to slow our roll and Pam is no exception.
“Arthritis has begun to crop up. I have aches and pains in my knees that I didn’t have before,” she laments. We’ve all been there, but the trick is to not give in to that which threatens to halt us.
Ever the trouper, Pam takes it all in stride and doesn’t let minor setbacks deter her from grabbing life by the tail and taking it for a spin. Ben-Gay and Epsom salt have become her close friends.
Despite the occasional aches and pains, Pam is a woman who likes to stay on the move and keep herself busy. Her role as an accounting technician/analyst for the U.S. government keeps her grounded during business hours, but at the end of the day, when she temporarily cuts the cord from Uncle Sam and is on her own timeline, she kicks herself into high gear.
The notion of living to work or working to live is a double-edged sword for Pam.
“That’s a tricky one because if I don’t work, I won’t have the means to do anything. I guess, based on that, I would say I live to work.”
On the other hand, Pam has a firm grasp on the reality of working one’s self into the grave.
“Some people work up until their last breath. If they’re not working and they’re not really doing anything, it’s seems like it would be easier to just pass away.”
Working until the bitter end is not a part of Pam’s life plan. When she retires, she’s determined to keep her busy momentum going with traveling and volunteering. Sitting at home doing nothing is not an option.
Until that time comes, she remains a bundle of activity. Twice a week, Pam tackles midlife head-on with her personal trainer, David Tinsley, of DNT Fitness by Dave in Largo, MD. Every once in a while, when the weather is agreeable, she can also be seen putting a serious hurtin’ on midlife at Davis’s Saturday morning intensive boot camp session.
That isn’t the extent of Pam’s active involvement in this thing we call life. She is a member of the Dance Ministry at her church, Gethsemane United Methodist Church in Capitol Heights, MD. Her roots run deep in the church. Not only is she on the Church’s Financial Committee, once a year she also sings with the Women’s Day Choir. When her down time is truly down time, she puts her crocheting talents to use, creating beautiful designs such as quilts and baby clothes.
Pam is also active in doing something she loves: volunteering, which she does regularly at the VFW Post 259 in Clinton, MD. She has volunteered at the White House, serving as a ‘traffic cop’ of sorts as she ushered visitors through the Garden grounds and made sure they kept the line moving. She also served at the pleasure of President Obama twice by volunteering during his two inaugurations.
On reflecting and reinventing herself in life, Pam takes a pragmatic approach, one which illustrates the path of maturity on which she has walked.
“At some point, everyone changes from the person they were and the things they did before. I’m more settled now. I used to want to go out and party all the time. That’s no longer my number one priority. I don’t have to be a part of the crowd anymore.”
These days, she’s more comfortable with spending time with her boyfriend, Wayne, a retired D.C. police detective than she is with the party scene.
Pam has always been a single parent, playing the role of both Mother and Father to her now 26 year old son, Earlie. Though it wasn’t easy—from the sacrifices, foregoing life’s little niceties for herself to provide for her son—she did…and she did it with style. Seeing her son go off to college was a difficult emotionally for Pam. Between semesters, Earlie would return home for visits, and even secured seasonal employment in the area. After graduating college, Pam’s world was looking up.
“I always thought and hoped he would move back in with me and get a permanent job. When he finally did move onward and upward, it saddened me for a while. I had gotten so used to him being back, but he felt that, as a man, he should be on his own, do things on his own.” After a brief moment of reflection, Pam says, “I just had to put it in God’s hands.”
When asked if she is happy with the woman that she has become in midlife, she hesitates only briefly before answering softly.
“Yeah. I’m being true to myself. As a single mother, I did everything for my son. He always came first. Now it’s my turn.”
Pam has this little nugget of advice for women who may find traversing the road of midlife a bumpy one.
“Stay involved, because if you don’t, that time will go by so fast. You’ll look back and say ‘What have I done?’ I don’t want to sit at home and not do anything. I’m busy from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep. You need to do something that you’ve always wanted to do but never had a chance to do. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. If a bucket list works for you, try that.”
Pam is definitely a woman who keeps going and going and going . . .
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Giver. Energetic. Talented. Mother. Daughter. Sister. Friend.
This is Pam. For her, slowing down is not an option. In her mind, getting older definitely doesn’t mean slowing down.
When it comes to Pam Streeter, this is what midlife looks like.
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If you believe you or someone you know should be featured in “This is What Midlife Looks Like,” please don’t hesitate to contact me and let me know.
