Interrupting someone when they’re speaking. This practice has become so ingrained in our society that many people immediately yield the floor as soon as they’re cut off. It happens universally, but when it happens with a woman, it opens up a whole ‘nother space of insolence. And if you’re a midlife woman? Well, you’ve just been relegated to the wall, sister.

Years ago, I learned that many times when people interrupt you, it not only shows a lack of respect, it’s also code for, “What I have to say is more important than what you have to say,” (which denotes a narcissistic interrupter). It’s a display of power (or perceived power) and lowers the authority or status of the person on the receiving end of the interruption. This is exactly where men interrupting women fits in. To be fair, it’s not just men. Women aren’t immune to it; we interrupt as well. However, men interrupt women at a much greater rate than women do.

As women, we’re conditioned and socialized to button it up when the big, strong, manly man is speaking. So, when we talk and a man interjects with his two cents, we acquiesce without putting up much of a fight. We watch him prattle on, waiting patiently for him to finish so that we in turn can finish our thoughts aloud. Meanwhile, he’s meandered into another topic, leaving our issue in the dust. It happens everywhere. At work, at school, at home, in the grocery store . . . everywhere.

Men are just comfortable interrupting women. A 2014 study from George Washington University notes that men interrupted women 33 percent more often when speaking with a woman than speaking with a man. However, to be fair, women interrupt other women more often. Go figure.

This isn’t something new for women. We’ve dealt with the phenomenon for decades. It’s called “manterrupting” and it’s a real, universal phenomenon.

1970
Sally: “I think that the—”
Bob: “No, it shouldn’t be done like that. That doesn’t make any sense. What we need to do…” blah blah blah…
Sally: Silence

1984
Tanya: “I’ll make chi—”
Raymond: “No I don’t want that. You should make beef…” blah blah blah…
Tanya: Silence

2008
Loretta: “If we take half of those funds and divert them to—”
Jerry: “Half? Are you crazy? It only takes one-fourth of that to reach…” blah blah blah…
Loretta: Silence

But then something wonderful happened.

2020
Kamala Harris: “…makes less than $400,000—”
Mike Pence: “He said he would repeal the tax cut…”
Kama Harris: “Mr. Vice President I’m speaking.”
Mike Pence: Stammers.
Kamala Harris: {With a smile on her face) “I’m speaking.”

On the campaign trail, Kamala Harris wasn’t about to be talked over. She shut Pence down. Vice President Kamala Harris wasn’t the first woman to shut a man down for interrupting her and she won’t be the last. But her push back in such a public forum resonated with women all over the world. And she did it without attacking. Because, let’s face it, if in defense of her voice (which she has every right to use) a woman raises her voice, uses profanity, or sheds a tear, she’s labeled as too emotional. Because how dare she show any emotions, right? The curse of men interrupting women strikes again.

This isn’t meant to be a sweeping condemnation of men. It is, however, meant to be a revelation on what women have dealt with for far too long: men interrupting women.

What Can Women Do When Men Interrupt Us?

Don’t Stop Talking.
The first thing women can do when a man interrupts her is to keep talking. Finish your sentence. Don’t allow yourself to be shut down. Steamroll over him if you have to. If you have a thought, finish it. Now this doesn’t mean that your thought should be an hour-long one-woman monologue, but at least continue speaking until you finish a sentence or two and get your point across.

Calmness is Key.
The minute you get frazzled when you’re interrupted is the minute you lose your momentum, lose your train of thought, and lose your power. You’ve just given your interrupter the upper hand. Try to stay calm and keep your demeanor positive.

Make Eye Contact.
Now, some might consider this a stare-down an act of aggression – sort of like when you’re in the wild and you’re not supposed to make eye contact with a bear. However, making eye contact, coupled with maintaining a stead voice and leaning forward a bit is likely to throw him off course long enough for him to zip it.

Interrupt the Interrupter.
This strategy requires you to be on your toes. When interrupted, interrupt back. Take a page from Vice President Harris’ book and say something like, “Excuse me, I’m speaking,” “I’m speaking now; you’ll have your turn,” or, if you want to be more forceful, “Stop interrupting me when I’m speaking.”

Disengage.
If a man is hellbent on showing his buddies what power he has, take a step back and don’t reward him with your mental energy. Wait for the interruption to end. Pause a beat or two then ask, “Are you finished? May I continue now?” They’re powerful words that speak volumes in their admonition. It lets the interrupter know that you acknowledged their rudeness.

Have a Tête-à-Tête.
If the person interrupting you does so fairly regularly, have a chat with him outside of the conversation that he’s interrupting. It could be that he doesn’t realize he’s constantly disturbing the flow of conversation.