I’m puzzled by something, and it has nothing to do with Donald Trump, algebraic equations or the location of Jimmy Hoffa. Perhaps we’ve got a little bit of simpatico going on here and you’re just as befuddled as I am.

Before I tell you about the root of my confusion, I’d like to ask you to try a small exercise. It won’t take much of your time, perhaps 15-20 seconds or so. Take a moment and go to your computer’s search engine and type in the word “midlife,” hit ‘ENTER’ and notice what comes up in the search results. I’ll give you a moment to soak that in.

Are you seeing what I’m seeing? It seems that Google, Bing, DuckDuckGo, Dogpile, IxQuick and probably every other search engine in the universe can’t separate “midlife” from “crisis” – just as so many other people have who’ve been conditioned to believe that—like Raggedy Ann and Andy, The Captain and Tennille, love and marriage—you can’t have one without the other. And therein lies my confusion.

But here’s the thing: it is possible for you to have the midlife without the crisis.

We Have This Guy To Thank For That…

Does the name Elliott Jaques ring a bell? For most people, it means absolutely nothing, however hundreds upon thousands of midlifers have taken to heart a ubiquitous saying that he coined over 50 years ago. That phrase is the dreaded “midlife crisis”.

Yech! Those two words combined leave a sour taste in my mouth. Hold on a sec while I wash that vileness away with a glass of wine.

Alrighty then. Midlife is a time in life that is navigated differently by different people. Some crash head-on into crisis mode and begin to question any- and everything about who they are, what they want out of life, their inner feelings and more. However, not everyone in midlife goes through a dramatic crisis—that emotional turmoil and upheaval that signals the beginning of major life changes. Some take it in stride and glide through the time almost seamlessly.

So What’s Their Secret? What is it That Separates “Midlife” From The “Crisis?”

While there are a number of things that could lead one to being crisis-free, I like to think a positive outlook, how we approach the transformations that take place in our lives and how we rise above the challenges can put us in the no-crisis zone. But that’s just me.

When you’re living in midlife without the crisis you are . . .So here’s the thing: despite all of this, you may still be going through a midlife crisis. If this is your reality, there are likely a number of prevalent issues that may be concerning to you: your overall health, your well-being, elevated levels of stress, mental acuity and the realization that you are in fact getting older. While these points paint a dismal picture of midlife, know that, just as was the case when you were in your 20s or 30s, there will be ebbs and flow in life, and these are not exclusive to midlife.

When it comes to midlife and the dreaded crisis, there is at least one important thing for you to consider and remember: